Silence - My days in silence

I'm now sitting here with my second coffee, my stomach is already rumbling and I have no idea what I'm getting myself into: three days in silence, in harmony with nature and having time again to "just" be.

It's not time yet and saying goodbye to my smartphone is harder than I thought, I'm typing on Facebook, texting, emailing and WhatsApp at the same time and I can feel the stress building up inside me.

My phone's been acting up for days, when was the last time I switched it off? No, not in flight or silent mode, but "off"? I can't remember, maybe a break will do us both some good after all.

Two hours later, I'm sitting in a marvellous hut in the mountains with 20 others. After dinner, the day's plans are announced and then the lights are soon switched off. I don't get on very well, my eyes are probably still in the big city and have to get used to the candlelight. The first night in the sheep room seemed like an endless time. It was pitch dark and frighteningly quiet. I was relieved when the bell rang at 05:30 and I groped my way to the washbasin. The ice-cold water woke up every one of my teeth that hadn't yet had their roots treated.

Over the next few days, we will sit (editor's note: meditate) nine times a day, for 25 minutes each time, sometimes for what feels like an eternity and then again like a short trip to paradise. I can feel myself arriving more and more each moment and being in the here and now, the people around me are close to me without knowing them. The work is shared and the community lovingly supports everyone. Why am I emphasising this?

The silence, being alone with yourself, the silence and the darkness - my ticket for a high-speed train ride, but with others as a safety net during this intense time. I remember one of my best holidays as a small child, I played with a girl for hours, we didn't exchange a word and felt so close.

My senses are heightened and after the work is done - what was the universe trying to tell me when I drew the card for cleaning the shower (yes, there's only one) and toilets? - the food tastes so wonderful, and I eat and savour, nothing else, without a smartphone in my hand.

That same day, my body starts to rebel, I feel an indescribable inner heat and my head feels like it's going to explode. Thank God the candles are extinguished at 9.30pm. The night brings me wild dreams.

When I wake up the next morning I feel lighter and my head is clear, so a detox for the head after all!

I want to maintain this calm and realise how much unnecessary things I say so often and how much stress I sometimes cause myself - no, I don't have to answer all the emails and messages within minutes and no, I don't have to like and comment - I don't feel like talking anymore. The others seem to feel the same way. At the end of our three days, we sit quietly after the silence has been lifted and it takes a long time for the first person to break the silence - apparently you can't just clear out your flat and then feel free!

PS: My smartphone has recovered a bit and occasionally ticks, at this moment it probably wants to remind me to "switch off" - thanks!